The little girl in me smiles every time my business phone rings. Each and every one of you empowers me to continue becoming the entrepreneur I’ve always dreamed of. Gabbie McGuire Beauty, like many other small businesses, has been riding out the pandemic for two years now. I’ve been working hard to stay afloat, pay my suppliers, and continue bringing you my latest ideas. I haven’t allowed myself a Sunday off in two years, and I’ve accepted almost everything that’s come my way… And until now, I’ve done it without regret, because it was, in my opinion, the only way to survive the adversity brought on by the virus.
Even before the crisis, I’ve long believed in the myth of constant productivity.
Out of fear of being a disappointment, fear of failure, of losing my career, I said yes! Yes to endless evenings, to deadlines, to the hustle culture and the sick cycle that comes with it.
In many ways, these principles have contributed to the growth of my network, my knowledge, my team, and my brand.
Only, now I’m struggling with fatigue…the type that borders exhaustion. It is so scary for someone like myself.
This happened to me once before – when I ended my contract with LaSalle College last year. According to my friends and family, I was dangerously close to a burn-out…
I took it easy for a few weeks, blamed the pandemic and the bad weather, and then I was back at it. Summer came around and I had the biggest season of my career, meeting unforgettable people and doing makeup in all sorts of incredible places.
It was an eye-opener for me, almost like a confirmation that I had managed to survive Covid. It has killed SO many small business: Well, not mine! I was proud and didn’t want the wave of success to come to an end.
My brushes took me from Air Canada’s tarmac to the back of an Amazon distribution center, before heading straight to Reebok, and ending with a few great weddings!
With 26+ contracts a month at times, I had to place my YouTube channel and my newsletter on hold (a big loss for me because I LOVE creating on those platforms).
Next came the calls from friends and family who wanted to go out to spas, restaurants, and other places. My answers were always the same: No I’m booked, or, Yes but I’ll be arriving late and leaving early!
It wasn’t until the end of summer that I recognized I have a fear of failure, a fear that is detrimental to my mental health. I also realize that my existence as a black entrepreneurial artist is a marker for change. Thus, I tell myself that I ‘have’ to perform at all times. No stopping and no excuses. I’m not superhuman and I know that imposing such demands on myself is unfair. My work is well-appreciated and a weekend off would be completely acceptable. I also understand the validity of my personal goals. I understand it all, but I’m still scared.
It doesn’t come naturally to me but I plan on listening to myself in order to give you the best that I have to offer:
A rested and creative Gabbie!
Merci pour tout votre support tout au long de 2021! Je vous souhaite santé et beauté pour l’année qui débute! Avec plein de LOVE!